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Post by #nolongervictimsadmin on Aug 13, 2013 18:58:37 GMT -8
I'd like to open this forum as a way for people to share their experiences and how it has effected them.
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Post by The heart of stone on Aug 15, 2013 8:46:47 GMT -8
The sexual assault that I experienced in the military acted as a simple trigger. It wasn't horrific, in fact I didn't even bother to report it because to me it was so insignificant. I hid it away in my attic and it never crossed my mind. I did however give up acting as a victim advocate because I could not see how I could be in a position to help someone with reports if I myself could not go through with it. One day while acting as the SAPR POC I found out about my mentee, she had been sexually assaulted by the same guy, who by the way had 2 previous sexual assault cases against him that I had well known about when mine happened. Instantly my world came crashing down. Logically I knew it "wasn't my fault" but the amount of guilt I felt made me believe otherwise. So now in my life not only could I not save my sister and I from being sexually assaulted as kids but I could not save my mentee because I choose not to report it. After the time my assault happened he went after 6 other girls. I could have stopped this.... I have been seeing someone for almost a year. Turns out I am disconnected from my feelings. I know happy... but I decide not to deal with the other ones. I have days where I cry. I don't know why... or what I am feeling because I haven't dealt with them, from what I can remember, ever. Literally, I sit there with tears flowing down my face. No sobs, screams, hyperventilation, just nothingness. Shortly after starting therapy, I was introduced to a new term, Panic attacks. While mine are not frequent, I am still working on what triggers those fun times of hysteria. Due to the later assault I have been founded the new owner of high blood pressure and tachycardia(my heart likes to beat to fast). I have been put on hold for transferring which has only made the situation worse.
I hope by people reading these posts they will realize that they are not alone in this.
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